Now most of the time I am a fairly passive guy. My girls do pretty much whatever they want within reason. I am outnumbered now, so it really is just easier that way. They control the temperature, television, meals, bed times and a whole list of other things. Occasionally however things get a little out of hand. When that happens the only real option is to beat my wife.

Now I am not one of those guys who take pride in beating my wife. It is a necessary evil. Some guys like to come home every night and beat their wives. That is a little out of control and they should get that checked out with a psychiatrist. But I think a good strong beating at the appropriate time is necessary to maintain balance and remind my 1st girl that she does not always get her way. I am sure at some point I’ll have to introduce carefully planned beatings for the little one as well.

All this of course stems from the wife’s love of board games (you didn’t think I was talking about a physical beating did you?). She loves those things. I however can’t stand them. There is nothing more soul sucking than pushing a little thimble around a board. So typically I just sit back and let her have her fun when the need to be thrilled the same way our forefathers did before video games arises.

The fun part about it is that the mom hates to lose, but she doesn’t want to feel like you are letting her win either. This is a fine balance that must be played at all times and almost becomes a game within a game. One that is infinitely more interesting than the game itself. If played poorly she goes into a meltdown and thinks that I don’t enjoy spending time with her.

The flipside is that it can go on forever. This woman really likes playing games after all. Things start getting a little out of hand, and after the 4th or 5th time I’ve let her hole my army up in Kamchatka I lay the beat down.

Now just beating her at the game a little would be pointless. She would either write it off as a fluke or want to resume play after a brief intermission of popcorn and some home decorating television show. The beating has to be severe enough where she is afraid of it happening again that she calls off playing all together. Occasionally this means just picking up another game, in which case a follow up beating that is equally as severe is in order.

I do however worry about my future. The girl is not old enough to play games yet, and she has actually put a temporary embargo on all fun in our house that does not involve her. However when she does become old enough it reduces my ability to beat both of my girls severe enough to cause a cease fire to just 33.3%. I might soon have to take applications for reinforcements. I’ll keep you posted.

Set your Twitter account name in your settings to use the TwitterBar Section.