I believe, at least in the south, every dad dreams to some extent of their kids growing up to be sports stars. I have no clue why this is, most truly exceptional athletes I have met in my life are complete a-holes**, which is not something I want any kid of mine to be known as.

**there are noticable exceptions to this rule, in his heyday Corliss Williamson was quite nice, Clif Lee is a good guy, and I met Reggie White while he was still playing and is one of the greatest people I’ve ever met.

Growing up I played basketball to the best of my ability. I was asked to play running back for the football team at one point and for some odd reason declined. Basically unless I could pull off a Spud Webb I was a complete athletic failure. About as close as the wife came is playing HORSE in the yard with her dad. When you take away dribbling, the other half of the court, and defenders my wife is an excellent basketball player herself.

Essentially sports are a little hard for those of us slightly taller than umpa lumpas, though if they ever formed a Willy Wonka basketball league I would dominate.

Given the runt’s stature of a little more than 2 ft currently, I think the odds on her playing many sports is greatly diminished.

The wife has always been obsessed with gymnastics, I’ve never given it much thought as a competitive sport. However she puts up with my football, so I took her to a gymnastics game a couple of weekends ago. Once I got past the ever so slightly hot Missouri girls, I realized that most of the girls were in the also in the slightly taller than an umpa lumpa range.

Maybe the girl has a chance at sports after all. Now if I could just discover how they score points in a gymnastics game.

Set your Twitter account name in your settings to use the TwitterBar Section.