When we found out we were having Ava, like any good grandparent to-be, baby momma’s baby momma decided to look through some of Brandie’s old baby things. She found a bunch of things that naturally Brandie wanted to hold onto and buried in all of that she found a parenting book originally published in 1962.

Now this was no ordinary parenting book. It was issued by the U.S. Department of Health, Education, and Welfare which is either their version of the Department of Health or something we managed to wrap under Homeland Security somehow. Regardless this pretty much represents the official way to raise a child. In 1962.

Most of it is what you would expect from 1960’s parenting:

  • It is ok to beat your kids, just only when necessary and don’t leave bruises.
  • It is common for daddy to not get close with new babies, but try to start giving them 15-20 minutes before you drink your Scotch when you get home from work by the time they are 3.
  • Boys should play with trucks and blocks, girls with dolls and clothes. Any deviation will confuse your child.
  • TV is the devil, try to prevent them from watching it.
  • Try to limit your kid to 4 cigarette a day .

Then we get into answering questions of gender differences and sex:

“Simply telling a child the facts about reproduction usually doesn’t end the matter. Children rarely take anybody’s word for anything, you know. They have to see for themselves… It may help a child who has no other opportunities to observe human anatomy to take him to see another child of the opposite sex. Plan your visit with the baby’s mother so she can tactfully provide an opportunity for such observation.”

So let me get this straight. I need to plan a visit with @Kerrijack or @diane1230 to let Ava see their little boy’s penis? No thanks.

  • Pstrack

    Greg,

    For the record, I was born in 1962. ’nuff said.

    • Anonymous

      That explains a whole lot

  • Thecreativetype

    Don Draper came to mind. :)

  • http://twitter.com/kellimarks Kelli Marks

    There is something terribly, terribly wrong with that advice. (also, considering that’s how our parents are raised, is there any question why our generation is so warped?)

  • Diane1230

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! That cracks me up! :-) You can schedule a visit at any time, but that reason might not be a good one…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=821719062 Leslie Taylor

    The first printing of that book was in 1918.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=821719062 Leslie Taylor

    “A mother who says she is “too busy” to get to the grocery until late afternoon may be deceiving herself, for she wastes time in going when the store is crowded with women who have no other time to do their buying.” From a 1940’s printing.

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