I have found this strange period between being excited about having a baby and being scared to death about having to take care of one. Somewhere in this transition period it occurred to me that we actually have to start getting things for the baby. Apparently you can’t just buy it a few squeaky toys and a bag of food like we did when we got the dog.

So the baby momma (stealing one from @kerrijack) and I loaded up and went to Babies R Us to start registering for things. I have absolutely no clue what a baby needs, so I just figure if a store like that has it then a baby must need it. Seemed like a logical assumption. I for some reason don’t think I will be invited back on future baby registering trips. Here is basically how it went:

Note to self, taking the pregnant wife shopping gives you rock star parking. Now if they would just put these spaces in the rivermarket I would be set.

Brandie for some reason thought it would be a good idea to give me the scanner. Big mistake.

My idea to register for 2 of these and put them together to make a baby belly pinata was denied. Not registered

I am not real sure what this thing is, but I think it might be the human equivalent of one of those dairy cow milking machines. I thought it would make a cool Halloween costume. Needless to say she would not let me register for it.

I am not entirely sure what Butt Paste is, perhaps like tooth paste for the other end. Whatever it is I don't want to have to put that on my child.

Who knew there were so many types of bottles and nipple sizes and all sorts of strange things? At this point I started wondering back to the Dairy machines and let Brandie decide.

Daddy needs toys for the bath too

Unfortunately I could not find the one that said "My dad has more twitter followers than your dad"

My back seat will never be the same.

Ava's new ride. It even has cup holders in the back for daddy to put his drink. The wife was not amused.

I was told that I had to get a diaper bag for me. I am having a hard time finding one with a laptop sleeve though.

I told Brandie we should start right away on trying to housebreak the baby. I thought this "poop with me Elmo" was en excellent start. Denied again.

The best part about having a short name is we save on decorations.

Somehow we managed to get through all of this. If having a baby is anything like preparing for a baby, this might get interesting. If you are looking for our registry for some reason these are the two I know about:

Babies R Us registry

Target registry

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  • http://twitter.com/kellimarks Kelli Marks

    As a non-parent (non-breeder? Is that allowed?) the butt paste confused me too at first, but several of my mommy friends swear by it!

    • Anonymous

      I am pretty much scared of anything in that general area. Diapers already frighten me. I am going to try to avoid doing anything to that for as long as possible.

  • Mom

    Just so you know I used butt paste on you and you turned out just fine: )

  • diane1230

    You’re so funny. And, yes, the butt paste does work. We used it the first go around. :-)

    Tell Brandie if she needs any help to call me. 😉

  • Joe

    Get the Butt Paste…I used something on my kids called Flanders Buttocks Ointment. Good Stuff.

  • @Beritk

    boudreaux’s butt paste is the best. stuff. ever…

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