For the last several years I’ve beat up on Saline County fairly hard. Keep in mind, it is all for completely legitimate reasons. Saline County comes in second place as the redneck capitol of the world, losing out by only a slim margin to the entire state of Alabama.
One of the deep dark secrets of my past that I passionately attempt to cover up is the fact that I was actually born and spent 18 years of my life in Saline County. Now there is a great deal of debate about the legitimacy of this claim from people who have spent more than 5 minutes around me. Unfortunately in spite of the lack of chewing tobacco in my bottom lip and my inability to use the word “ya’ll” without vomiting, it is the truth.
I realize it may be a bit hypocritical of me to frequently make fun of both the county and the camo covered residents. However I speak from a wealth of experience.
A few weeks ago, as we have discussed, I was offered a job at a company that I have admired from a distance for quite a while. The company is Power Technology, which makes lasers. The irony is that Power Technology’s property line starts about 3 ½ inches into Saline County. I’ve requested unsuccessfully to drag my desk across the road so I can work in Little Rock.
Truthfully though working less than a foot on the Saline County side is not that bad. The wind usually blows in from Little Rock so I get the nice smoggy smell of home that I miss. The tough part is going to Bryant for lunch, which I have tried to avoid as much as possible.
Today I had to drive over quickly to grab a quick sandwich that I could eat through a lunch meeting. I pulled up at Firehouse Subs and a camo painted pickup pulls up next to me. Out comes an older man in overalls with his rather large mutt dog. He walks in front of me, ties the dog to the newspaper box and walks inside. Once in I get behind a husband and wife that are debating on “painting the shed out back yeller”. As I walk out to leave there are a couple of women looking at the dog, who is still tied to the newspaper box, and one says “My boyfriend Tommy use to have one that looked just like this, except he was sent to the pound when Tommy got busted for making meth. I should steal the dog just in case it is his so doesn’t miss him when he gets out”.
Thank you Saline County for confirming everything I have ever said about you and then rubbing it in my face that I have to deal with it all over again.
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